Kickstart your new year with self-kindness

Whether you’re the type of person that likes to set new year’s resolutions or not, there is something fresh and clean about starting a new year. A new page on your personal journey and you can write anything you want into this new chapter. The opportunity this presents can feel quite exciting for many.

Reflecting back on 2025 we might feel like there are things we didn’t achieve that we hoped to, perhaps you were looking for a new job, or you wanted to lose weight or travel to a particular destination. It can be easy to beat yourself up over missed opportunities or have regrets for actions not taken. Why not start 2026 with some self-kindness?

Taking small actions like deciding to be kinder to yourself, can have a big impact on your life. Self-compassion boosts your mental health by reducing stress, anxiety and depression. It will help you build resilience, improve self-esteem and foster healthier relationships.

Allowing yourself the same care and compassion that you would allow a friend helps calm your nervous system which will help you cope with challenges.

Key benefits:

1. Reduces stress & anxiety: Self-kindness triggers oxytocin, releasing those important feel-good chemicals and calming your nervous system to create a sense of safety.

2. Increase Resilience: By re-framing, you can bounce back from setbacks faster by changing the way you look at situations. Re-frame difficulties by seeing them as learning opportunities

3. Boosts self-esteem and happiness: If you talk to yourself in the same way you would a friend, replacing harsh self-criticism and negative self-talk with supportive words of kindness, this will lead to greater self-acceptance and improved well-being.

4. Foster better relationships: Being kind and gentle with yourself will allow you more empathy for others and reduce conflict

5. Improve coping mechanisms: teaches you to respond to difficult times with care and compassion instead of self-blame.

How does it work?

There are physiological and emotional elements at work. Being kind to yourself activates your parasympathetic system, creating feelings of safety and comfort. It switches off your threat response which helps heal emotional wounds and boosts your immune system.  It can also act as a buffer to protect you against burnout, perfectionism and self-doubt.

How can we start practicing self-kindness?

Now we understand all of the reasons we should be kinder to ourselves, we have to learn how to do it. For some, this can come naturally, but others have to work harder to find compassion for themselves.

Here are a few simple ways to get started:

1. Inner dialogue: Notice how you talk to yourself – would you say those same things to a friend who was in the same situation? If the answer to that question is ‘no’, then change your language. Replace critical negative dialogue with words of comfort – “I’m doing my best” “One step at a time”

2. Feeling comforted: a hug can work wonders, but for those who lie alone, this isn’t always available, so finding ways to self-soothe are essential. Putting a hand over your heart, or using breathing exercises can be both calming and reassuring,

3. Me time: It is not selfish to carve out some time for yourself. Some people find it useful to schedule this time in their diaries to create the space for themselves. It might be 30 minutes to read a book, or watch your favourite TV programme. It could look like getting away from your desk and taking a walk. Make a list of things that bring you joy and try and do at least one every day. This creates a better sense of balance in your life.

4. Small wins: We must celebrate all of the small wins – this is a great way of acknowledging your progress and hard work. Making lists is an easy and measurable way to note your wins or accomplishments. Tick off things as you go and enjoy that sense of achievement.

Understanding self-kindness starts with recognising your own worth and value. Learn to accept your  whole-self without judgement. Choose to be forgiving to yourself as you might be to others for their mistakes. This is not about not holding yourself accountable, but choose instead to acknowledging your actions and not beat yourself up over them.

Being kind to yourself is also about acknowledging your needs and taking steps to meet them. If you’re tired, allow yourself time to rest. If you’re dedicating too much time to others, allow yourself time for your hobbies. Even allowing yourself some time to reflect and recharge is beneficial.

Self-kindness is a powerful tool to build inner strength and emotional well-being.  We often think of kindness as something we show others, but showing it to ourselves is equally, if not more important. Being kind to ourselves gives us more bandwidth to show care, empathy and compassion to those around us.